Sunday, July 10, 2011

It's Your Kid, Not a Gerbil by Dr Kevin Leman book review

It’s Your Kid, Not a Gerbil!
By: Dr Kevin Leman

I received this e-book from Tyndale publishers in exchange for a book review. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started It’s Your Kid, Not a Gerbil! by Dr Kevin Leman. I have read many books claiming to help with the parent/child relationship. I was very impressed with this book. There were many pointers and tips to take away from this book. I am anxious to apply them to my own kids and see what happens. Some ideas I had heard before; some I don’t think would work in our family. Overall, Dr Kevin Leman did a great job. I would recommend this book to anyone who has young children. Mine are older, so I felt I had missed out on some of the ideas he presented. However, his 10 Ways to Rear a Kid From the Inside Out really hit home. I can do this now.
1) Understand Your Child’s Uniqueness: No two relationships are the same, and that goes for relationships with your kids as well. Their personalities and yours result in a different relationship with each child.
2) Give Your Kids a Piece of You: Your kids want you. It’s that simple. Have a pizza night, or game night, just you and your kids. You will be amazed at what you find out when your kids feel they have your attention and your love.
3) Treat Each Child Differently: Each child is different and enjoys different things. Now, my daughter fusses because I don’t treat her like her 17 year old brother. She is 14. I think this would work more for younger children. As they get older, they recognize the differences and feel slighted.
4) Give Your Kids Rituals: This is an interaction that meets their needs and builds your homegrown bond. Things like wrestling after work, building forts, making breakfast on Saturday mornings.
5) Put Your Relationship with Your Kids First: When they know you love them for them, they’ll want to please you, not act out. Again, I think this works more for younger children. By the time they are teenagers, they are pushing the limits to see what they can get away with. You have to stand firm and show your love and trust.
6) Be Real: Let your kids know your experiences.
7) Nurture Your Child’s Trust: If they ask a question, answer it age appropriately. Take them and their questions seriously. When they get older, they’ll come to you with everything.
8) Model Values Worth Catching: You want them to be respectful, genuine, caring. They must see you acting that way, also.
9) Use Chores To Teach Character & Responsibility: If you see something on the floor that shouldn’t be there, pick it up. Don’t walk by and think that isn’t my job. Whether you’re at the store, walking through your kitchen, or at the ball game, you teach your kids to pitch in and be a help.
10) Look Out for Others: Teach them to think of others.

This book really gave me some ideas to ponder. I want to raise a kid who has character, not one who is a character. You have to know their heart, what makes them unique. In order to do this, you have to spend time with them, not relegate it out to babysitters, coaches, or camp counselors. They just want to spend time with their parents and feel loved and respected by their parents for being who they are. This book helps you lay a firm foundation for a lifetime relationship with your children. When they get older and move away, they’ll want to come back and visit! No one can take your place instilling your child’s positive self-image, view of the world, concept of faith, and sense of security. Only you can do that. Reading this book will show you how to make the most of your time with your child. You’ll be glad you took the time to read this book and form that bond with your child!

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